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So please, have a care for yourself and others; take regular showers. Run a cloth over that beast before you let strangers pet it.

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Needless to say, my initial reaction was not one I thought through very well, as I literally and for the first and only time in my life reeled back in abject panic. For old-fashioned boinking without any BDSM flavor, you shouldn't need to wear football padding or have to be iced down at regular intervals.

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What sorts of things can one do in a sexual scenario that qualify as this?

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You need to ease into fetishes like a warm bath. And some of them are legitimately terrible. As she put it, she thought she landed funny on the TV remote, but instead it was actually just her man producing an impromptu vibrator from the secretive folds of the couch on which they were debauching each other.

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The result is a person who expects you to go to town, so to speak, and then once you get there, find your own way home because they have to get to sleep or go get their tires rotated or whatever. You know that scene in horror movies when a grisly monster hand appears and grabs the hapless victim's wrist? And some of them are legitimately terrible.
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